defender of mankind

It's about 3.30 am on monday morning.. I just got done working an over night shift at XXI, it was a blast....... .....
I'm tired but I don't think I could sleep if I tried, so instead I have a little helper, heh. Hopefully I will soon be dozing..but in the mean time I wanted to catch up, because I have not made an entry in quite some time.
I have just been so busy lately, between working, hanging out with friends and setting up my house, I don't feel like I have time for anything.
I miss making clothes... :[ It really makes me sad to think about all the things I use to have time for, that I don't have the time for now.. it kind of sucks getting older.
I have contemplated much lately, about life and everything that is involved in it, and I don't see the point to rush through it, but then I find myself in a loop of time that consumes me, and it makes me feel like if I don't do something in this certain amount of time, I am a failure.

I am trying not to think this way anymore though, I am trying to live life how I use to free and on edge, and not worry about time and all these materialistic things that consume me.
Anways, just wanted to clear my mind a bit, and I DO already feel much lighter, it softens me and makes me feel closer to the earth.

I want all my friends to know I think about all of you guys all the time, and I worry far too much about you, although I don't show it enough it is true that all you guys complete me and make me feel so much better about this thing called life, at least if that's what you want to call it..

Just on a random note, I fucking hate the newspaper man, he always scares me when I'm up ths late..what a creepshow.